GUEST POST: Before we blame our children’s choices, did our ACTIONS or INACTIONS influence them?

I have been given the honor to host a guest post from one of my recent followers and fellow bloggers, Marie Abanga. I appreciate Marie’s candor and the comments she leaves on my posts accompanied by some very personal examples, provoking positive reflections and reactions. Join me in welcoming Marie on my blog as she shares what she has come to understand making healthy choices should mean to a parent.

Please place all “likes” and “comments” directly on Marie’s blog site

after she re-blogs it to her site!!!

I am currently involved in a local project that will keep me off my computer for the next two weeks. Looking forward to catching up with everyone when my project is completed!

 

Marie Abanga

 

 

Life is really all about healthy choices, not only what we eat but also how we eat, how we help that food spread itself out in our bodies to do what it’s supposed to do, and what other choices we make in life assuming we make them with the hope of making our lives better – healthier…

Being a mum and single parent of three boys, the topic of my post quickly came to mind … The choices I make are not only for me, but for them too. After all, before they even start going to pick up habits from school and friends, they first pick up from me. Even as they grow and become more and more independent; and one day fly on their own wings altogether, the choices I make today will probably inspire their own choices and motivate them even in the face of challenges…

1. What do I choose to eat with them? As a parent, there are basically two settings where I eat. I eat at home hopefully with the boys, or I eat alone maybe on the go. It is my assertion that whatever I choose to eat impacts and influences them. When at home, I sometimes try to balance the meals to get the most health benefits. But, there are several veggies I sadly didn’t introduce my boys to when they were much younger. We sometimes do a lot of bargaining for them to eat what I cook or put on the table. And yet, I am aware of the fact that the same way it took me a while to realize the impact of food on my overall health, the same way it will take them a while to love those veggies and not crave cookies and chips. In the long run, those choices will be most beneficial and I wouldn’t blame myself if they ever make poor food choices in their lives – which I hope not.

2. What do I eat when on the go? – when away from home, I am holding that my eating choices will still influence their own choices. There is no way you can love eating say pizza when away from home, and never eat same at home even once. The same goes with drinks like coke, coffee at the office and all. The wraps from biscuits or chips and chocolates or the drive through bags will somehow end up in the kitchen trash can or sell you out when the kids enter the car or spend a day out with you. On another note, food impacts my mood and weight and I have learned not to play with what I eat. Sugar for example can make me restless; a cube or two is fine. If I am careless about what I eat out there, and end up moody, then I return home no good to be the best mum for the boys and the embarrassment causes me to retreat to my room. This can go on to ruin our relationship, and actually make the boys care less what they too eat anyway. It is for this reason that even when not at home, I still hold myself accountable for what I eat. If I don’t, how then can I blame them for their own choices?

3. How do I eat food be it with them or alone? Eating on the table and away from my phone, TV, newspaper, and other distraction. Whether am eating with the boys or not, I try 90% of the time to eat on a table and almost always keep that phone and all other distractions far away. The idea is to focus on eating, chewing and being in the present moment. When the boys are around, even if I can’t sit with them due to other chores, I encourage sitting down at the table to eat because it is healthier and more family bonding than eating in the room or elsewhere. I have put away the TV altogether because it’s not only unhealthy to watch a lot of that stuff especially for them at this age, but TV time steals family time given they spend quiet some in school and after school activities. Smart phones and computers are equally not allowed during meals too and we have come to appreciate the quiet meal time whether alone or together. I hope when they leave home to keep these values although I wouldn’t blame myself for any poor choices they make then.

4. How do I help the food digest and do what it has to do in my body? Choosing to workout consistently. I have made a decision to try my best to work out 3 times a week not only for my own health, but because I know those boys are watching and learning. I have tried to motivate them to join me or even to play outdoors as much as possible. My workout hours during the week are unfavorable for them but I try to make dancing competitions and buy footballs as often as they get burst. I also try to eat at reasonable hours and not after 8 pm anyway so I hope they realize the importance of exercise and eating at reasonable hours for food digestion before bedtime.

5. What about other life choices? The same goes with the choices I make in other areas of my life. I think of the example I am setting and am very wary of having another disastrous emotional relationship so all such is on a break now. Where I worship, how I do so, how I share same with them is equally a conscious choice which I hope will positively influence their own choices once they grow up and become independent men. We can look at life this way and come to conclude that as parents the choices we make should above all set positive examples for our kids or else we can’t later on blame them for their own poor choice.

This in a nutshell is my modest contribution to this great blog

Marie Abanga is a Determined, Disciplined, Dedicated & Dynamic woman of Faith! Marie blogs about her thrilling life… books and mental health over at :

https://marieabanga.wordpress.com/

Marie has been through a lot in life, yet finds the strength to stay POSITIVE and FOCUSED with each obstacle she has had to overcome. I hope you make the time to review her stories. They offer an important perspective on life.

https://marieabanga.wordpress.com/

 

Tags: children, emotions, health, lifestyle, motivation, quality of life, responsibility