There are many reasons not to pursue various goals in life, but the one that seems to gain the most attention is FEAR OF FAILURE. We tend to think that cumulative failed attempts creates “headwinds” preventing future pursuits. To a large extent this thinking is accurate.
Even more frightening and difficult, however, is the FEAR OF SUCCESS.
WHAT? HOW CAN THIS BE?
Failure keeps us in a setting we’re familiar with. We may know (logically) we’d be better off overcoming various physical and/or emotional issues, but our current position in life offers a level of “comfort” and “reassurance.” It creates a safety net by “lowering the bar” of self expectations important to many people trying to survive daily living. Unfortunately, it also lowers personal self esteem.
The well-intentioned bombardment by society to help people recognize their “deficiencies” in thinking and attitude often creates a purported “motivation” for change. In reality, it is not “motivation to succeed” that creates the impetus for “action,” but rather the need to prove to society (and self once again) that failure will be achieved. Failure helps maintain a level of status quo that (ironically) offers significant comfort. It justifies restoring a KNOWN pattern of existence. It requires little effort. It feels BOTH good and bad satisfying an emotional level which creates a sense of balance. As detrimental as this existence may be, it creates a sense of calmness in a frenzied world. To satisfy the pressure society creates for healthier outcomes, the individual (often unintentionally) sabotages their own efforts “saving face” to a hostile judging audience. Admitting failure “again” satisfies the personal need for status quo while eliciting empathy from the concerned population. It is a strategy that is repeated over and over again “successfully.”
WHY WOULD A PERSON SEEK SELF HARM IN PLACE OF PERSONAL ACHIEVEMENT?
The answer is FEAR OF SUCCESS! Living in failure has provided a justifiable excuse for a less than desirable place in life. Overcoming weight issues, completing educational requirements for certifications, pursuing career goals, becoming a better parent or spouse, etc… become personal responsibilities that can produce greater FEAR than repetitive failure. Losing weight (in and of itself) doesn’t create happiness. Completing an education (in and of itself) doesn’t magically create a successful career. Becoming a better parent (in and of itself) doesn’t guarantee well balanced self reliant children.
SUCCESS is only a step in a PROCESS that helps identify better future options toward achieving desirable outcomes. In other words, success is only the BEGINNING part of the equation. When achieving a “goal” doesn’t produce a comprehensive desirable end result, many people withdraw choosing to follow previous patterns of behavior with poor outcomes. These results include, weight gain, depression, marriage issues, parental issues, etc…
I am certain this is one of the major reasons why people have been unwilling to reach out to me for FREE assistance. If I can truly help improve the quality of people’s lives, a real FEAR develops knowing it becomes their responsibility to figure out what to do with this new existence. Without PASSION for life; without PURPOSE in life; without a thirst and desire to explore new opportunities to take real SUCCESS to the next level, why would anyone exert the effort to emerge from an anonymous, uneventful, self limiting life whose simple pursuit is day to day EXISTENCE.
This is the REALITY I believe prevents many people in this world from stepping forward and asking for help from a perfect stranger who offers only three things in return:
A caring heart
A willingness to supply a level of effort that matches the level any person is willing to OFFER in turn.
I have over 2,600 followers, yet I have FAILED at this point to achieve the purpose of this blog site. I work hard to provide important information to help people make better informed decisions for themselves in life. This, however, has not been enough to gain the trust and confidence in helping those DETERMINED (not simply wishing) to change their lives for the better.
I have learned that failing is important because it teaches a lesson in what doesn’t work. Hopefully, sharing this truth with you shows that vulnerability is not a weakness, but rather, an emotional strength which can be used productively to attain better results.
I will continue to accept failure along this journey, because I am willing to pursue infinite directions to find what it takes to open your hearts and minds to discovering better truths. In a world suffering much hatred, anger, fear, resentment and jealousy, I offer an opportunity to separate yourself from this destructive path. Failure has been an ally of mine over my lifetime. It has been a tool I’ve utilized to create greater awareness for necessary change. It has helped me discover a PASSIONATE, PURPOSEFUL CHOSEN path in life.
If my willingness to reveal my personal vulnerabilities makes you more comfortable to join me to pursue a healthier, happier, more fulfilling place in life, I welcome you. Whether it’s weight loss or other health concerns, the PROCESS I share is effective, but lengthy. It requires personal commitment resulting in increased personal VALUE. It is NOT a “one size fits all plan;” it is a process that addresses each person as a WHOLE PERSON restoring BALANCE by identifying and correcting the various deficiencies. This includes both physical and emotional components. It requires serious WORK and EFFORT. You are ultimately responsible for the positive changes you’ll achieve and more importantly MAINTAIN! This removes you from the maize in life whose exit and entrance is frequently one in the same.
In other words, the PROCESS I share reduces the chances of ending up in same place you started!
If you’re ready to get over your FEAR OF SUCCESS, you may find my assistance beneficial. I have a red contact button on my home page. This will provide you privacy to contact me. After discussing your situation, we will determine TOGETHER whether this approach is worth pursuing.
I hope this post conveys an honest sense of compassion while “telling it like it is.” It can be difficult to balance diplomacy and honesty, but knowing we’re on the same “team” to achieve the goals YOU establish helps reduce fear and defensiveness while achieving better LONG TERM RESULTS.
Would you like to get started?
Look for and click on the “contact” button at the top of my home page at the following link:
Provide a brief description of your health and/or weight concerns and I will follow up with you. The contact button will look like the following picture when you place your mouse over the word “contact” ON MY HOME PAGE (not this picture!)