FEAR OF SUCCESS

There are many reasons not to pursue various goals in life, but the one that seems to gain the most attention is FEAR OF FAILURE. We tend to think that cumulative failed attempts creates “headwinds” preventing future pursuits. To a large extent this thinking is accurate.

Even more frightening and difficult, however, is the FEAR OF SUCCESS.

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WHAT? HOW CAN THIS BE?

Failure keeps us in a setting we’re familiar with. We may know (logically) we’d be better off overcoming various physical and/or emotional issues, but our current position in life offers a level of “comfort” and “reassurance.” It creates a safety net by “lowering the bar” of self expectations important to many people trying to survive daily living. Unfortunately, it also lowers personal self esteem.

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The well-intentioned bombardment by society to help people recognize their “deficiencies” in thinking and attitude often creates a purported “motivation” for change. In reality, it is not “motivation to succeed” that creates the impetus for “action,” but rather the need to prove to society (and self once again) that failure will be achieved. Failure helps maintain a level of status quo that (ironically) offers significant comfort. It justifies restoring a KNOWN pattern of existence. It requires little effort. It feels BOTH good and bad satisfying an emotional level which creates a sense of balance. As detrimental as this existence may be, it creates a sense of calmness in a frenzied world. To satisfy the pressure society creates for healthier outcomes, the individual (often unintentionally) sabotages their own efforts “saving face” to a hostile judging audience. Admitting failure “again” satisfies the personal need for status quo while eliciting empathy from the concerned population. It is a strategy that is repeated over and over again “successfully.”

WHY WOULD A PERSON SEEK SELF HARM IN PLACE OF PERSONAL ACHIEVEMENT?

The answer is FEAR OF SUCCESS! Living in failure has provided a justifiable excuse for a less than desirable place in life. Overcoming weight issues, completing educational requirements for certifications, pursuing career goals, becoming a better parent or spouse, etc… become personal responsibilities that can produce greater FEAR than repetitive failure. Losing weight (in and of itself) doesn’t create happiness. Completing an education (in and of itself) doesn’t magically create a successful career. Becoming a better parent (in and of itself) doesn’t guarantee well balanced self reliant children.

SUCCESS is only a step in a PROCESS that helps identify better future options toward achieving desirable outcomes. In other words, success is only the BEGINNING part of the equation.Β  When achieving a “goal” doesn’t produce a comprehensive desirable end result, many people withdraw choosing to follow previous patterns of behavior with poor outcomes. These results include, weight gain, depression, marriage issues, parental issues, etc…

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I am certain this is one of the major reasons why people have been unwilling to reach out to me for FREE assistance. If I can truly help improve the quality of people’s lives, a real FEAR develops knowing it becomes their responsibility to figure out what to do with this new existence. Without PASSION for life; without PURPOSE in life; without a thirst and desire to explore new opportunities to take real SUCCESS to the next level, why would anyone exert the effort to emerge from an anonymous, uneventful, self limiting life whose simple pursuit is day to day EXISTENCE.

This is the REALITY I believe prevents many people in this world from stepping forward and asking for help from a perfect stranger who offers only three things in return:

  1. Hope

  2. A caring heart

  3. A willingness to supply a level of effort that matches the level any person is willing to OFFER in turn.

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I have over 2,600 followers, yet I have FAILED at this point to achieve the purpose of this blog site. I work hard to provide important information to help people make better informed decisions for themselves in life. This, however, has not been enough to gain the trust and confidence in helping those DETERMINED (not simply wishing) to change their lives for the better.

I have learned that failing is important because it teaches a lesson in what doesn’t work. Hopefully, sharing this truth with you shows that vulnerability is not a weakness, but rather, an emotional strength which can be used productively to attain better results.

I will continue to accept failure along this journey, because I am willing to pursue infinite directions to find what it takes to open your hearts and minds to discovering better truths. In a world suffering much hatred, anger, fear, resentment and jealousy, I offer an opportunity to separate yourself from this destructive path. Failure has been an ally of mine over my lifetime. It has been a tool I’ve utilized to create greater awareness for necessary change. It has helped me discover a PASSIONATE, PURPOSEFUL CHOSEN path in life.

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If my willingness to reveal my personal vulnerabilities makes you more comfortable to join me to pursue a healthier, happier, more fulfilling place in life, I welcome you. Whether it’s weight loss or other health concerns, the PROCESS I share is effective, but lengthy. It requires personal commitment resulting in increased personal VALUE. It is NOT a “one size fits all plan;” it is a process that addresses each person as a WHOLE PERSON restoring BALANCE by identifying and correcting the various deficiencies. This includes both physical and emotional components. It requires serious WORK and EFFORT. You are ultimately responsible for the positive changes you’ll achieve and more importantly MAINTAIN! This removes you from the maize in life whose exit and entrance is frequently one in the same.

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In other words, the PROCESS I share reduces the chances of ending up in same place you started!

If you’re ready to get over your FEAR OF SUCCESS, you may find my assistance beneficial. I have a red contact button on my home page. This will provide you privacy to contact me. After discussing your situation, we will determine TOGETHER whether this approach is worth pursuing.

I hope this post conveys an honest sense of compassion while “telling it like it is.” It can be difficult to balance diplomacy and honesty, but knowing we’re on the same “team” to achieve the goals YOU establish helps reduce fear and defensiveness while achieving better LONG TERM RESULTS.

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Would you like to get started?

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Look for and click on the “contact” button at the top of my home page at the following link:

ALL ABOUT HEALTHY CHOICES

Provide a brief description of your health and/or weight concerns and I will follow up with you. The contact button will look like the following picture when you place your mouse over the word “contact” ON MY HOME PAGE (not this picture!)

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30 comments

  1. really inspirational …

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Thank you very much.

      Like

  2. Excellent, as always!

    Today I did something I haven’t done since the last time it was required in high school: I ran a mile. I figured after all my walking, I could do it, but I just hadn’t tried. I don’t know why I hadn’t done it; there was nothing stopping me except my own excuses. Not only was I able to do it, it wasn’t even that difficult. You’ve been a real inspiration to me improving my health. Sometimes, the results haven’t been quick or obvious, but some days – like today – the results of that effort are crystal clear. Thank you!

    Liked by 4 people

    1. Congratulations! Results commonly aren’t quick. This is one reason people lose patience. They want immediate gratification. I suggest finding gratification differently. In your example, gratification could have been experienced by successfully completing the mile run. Whether it was slow, or attained including interval walking, the mission was DONE! That can be gratifying. Running a faster mile or running longer distances is simply another level of GRATIFICATION. We need to create and discover more LEVELS of gratification during the PROCESS of change to overcome impatience.

      Liked by 1 person

  3. Doctor, I used to wonder if Americans or even whites feel loss…until I got to Belgium and attended a funeral and also went to America and visited 5 states. There are Angels out there and you are definitely one of them. Any you feel, your vulnerability is your strength and I have benefitted from your selflessness more than you can imagine. Now, the fear of success gripped me for long too because I didn’t think I deserved any best and I didn’t know how to go about it nor that I had it in me. Seriously, I am going to your contact page again.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. For most of us, if we are willing to put the effort in to improving our perceptions and awareness, amazing results happen. The FEAR of “what next” often prevents people from pursuing life in such a manner.

      Liked by 1 person

  4. Your post is wonderfully motivating and thought provoking Doctor. A gift to anyone who reads it. Thank you so much for the inspiration, those thoughts are a great way for me to start my day!
    thank you!

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Thank you again, Joan. I appreciate your positivity and all your effort in sharing important messages with your readers.

      Liked by 1 person

  5. I don’t know if my problem is fear of failure or plain and simple apathy. My son gets aggravated with me since I don’t seem to try and make my life better.

    Just when I was getting better control of my eating and my diabetes and going to exercise classes 3 times a week, this spinal problem reared its ugly head again and put a halt to the exercise as I can barely move right now, but I am still working on my blood sugar control although that seems to have hit a wall as well since the pain is most likely the cause in the rise in my sugar levels despite the insulin.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Life is difficult and challenging and ALWAYS requiring some compensatory way of dealing with new or ongoing obstacles. Taking credit for overcoming these obstacles helps reduce the emotional duress of each new or recurring issue.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Trying to overcome the challenges.

        Liked by 1 person

  6. Dear Dr. no need to blame yuorself for failure. Abandoning confort and easy life is a massive affort. Going to the gym, avoid tasty food, give up on social life and say no to everything is a challenge. I have been through this process and I only succeded after 12 years. Read my article https://teresuschem.wordpress.com/2017/05/02/the-story-of-my-weight-loss-chapter-1/. People have to find motivation and inspiration inside themselves and realise themselves to change in the first place.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Thank you for your positive feedback. I do know how difficult it is to help people recognize and accept realistic lifestyle changes required for long term benefits (whether improved health and/or weight) loss.) I also know when a person is not ready, their odds of success on minuscule.

      There is a good chance the blogging forum is not a good fit for this approach to helping people. I will see whether people positively respond or not. If they don’t, I will continue to help people (locally where I live) in a “face to face” format. I wanted to first offer those without resources and knowledge the opportunity to improve their lives without the added burden of financial expenses.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Probably YouTube videos are better. Some musicians made their fortune starting on YouTube. Instagram is also much more popular among young people.

        Liked by 1 person

        1. At 58 years of age, I am a little old school. πŸ™‚ These different social media platforms are the sources younger generations turn to. Those in my age group suffer from health problems and are less inclined to use them. These are the very people that should be searching for answers to their health problems.

          Liked by 2 people

  7. Hugs to you for your continued generosity & selfless heart. I am blessed to have learned so much from you, through the posts you so graciously share with us all. You have not failed – your success may just look differently than you imagined it to be…

    Liked by 3 people

    1. The willingness to take the time and energy to offer assistance makes the effort worthwhile in my heart. Tangible responsiveness would simply be the “icing on the cake.”

      Liked by 2 people

  8. You hit the nail on the head. When we say we are scared of failure, what we are actually scared of is the new attitude or process we’ll need to adopt when we eventually achieve the desired goal. Maintenance is actually what we fear. Thanks for opening our eyes to this as you always do.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. I agree with your thinking and attitude. I’ll bet your future holds a brighter outcome than many of your peers.

      Liked by 1 person

  9. I can imagine at times you feel as though you are hitting your head against a brick wall as you probably feel you are not getting through to people. Maybe you are, maybe you are planting that seed and will get them going on that road of a better lifestyle…it just may take the individual time to realise when the time is right for them. Reading your posts, for me, are incredibly inspirational and informative and I am sure so many others feel the exact same way.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Thank you for your positive feedback. Each of us are born with a finite amount of time. In my opinion, this time should be divided into (1) giving to others and (2) replenishing one’s own energy to satisfy one’s own needs. If people choose to pursue an alternative course to the one I offer, I take this message as a time to replenish my own needs. As much as I like to help others, I do not wish to waste their time (or mine) if they aren’t willing to commit to a modified, yet realistic lifestyle, that improves their chances for enjoying a quality of life they choose for themselves.

      Although I make this offer free to those ready to follow a better path, it is NOT an unlimited offer. It expires when I move forward with my own new projects in life. It would be a shame for people to miss out because they weren’t aware of this fact.

      Liked by 1 person

  10. The comments show how motivational you are to others and that is a success…People will listen but it never happens as quickly as we would hope does it?..but to give up is never an option that is open to either you or me…Great post..

    Liked by 2 people

    1. You’ve got that right!! πŸ˜€

      Liked by 1 person

  11. I like what you write here a lot about failure and success. Personally I deal with a lot of fears when it comes to more success in my career and personal goals to move on from it. I never thought about being comfortable with failure though and I think that makes a lot of sense.

    Jonathan I hope you know you’ve helped countless people, myself included with your writings on taking charge of your health and life. There may not always be direct feedback but trust me when I say your words matter. Keep up the good work! πŸ™‚

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Thank you Tricia. You and I are much alike. We share messages intended to encourage cerebral thinking. Some people understand; some people simply respond to elicit reactions. Discovering new truths and better realities is important for personal and societal growth.

      Although facing (what feels like) unyielding resistance day in and day out is certainly frustrating, it still beats an unresponsive audience altogether.

      Keep sharing your messages. Their content impacts people’s thinking even if they aren’t yet willing to admit it!

      Liked by 1 person

  12. Thank you so much for this post, Jonathan. It came at just the right time for me. I’ve been working hard to finish writing my third novel. I’ve already self-published two but I really want to try pitching this book to an agent. I’m well aware that getting published is an extremely difficult pursuit that requires patience and is often littered with disappointment. But if I don’t succeed with this book then I will write another, then another. My writing will continue to improve and hopefully eventually I will succeed, even if I have to fail many times before I do so. Loved this post. Thank you!

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Each book you write is NOT a failure. It is a necessary stepping stone that aligns all factors required to becoming a published author. I don’t know many people that have written one book, let alone, two books. Remain persistent and fuel the PASSION. The outcome you seek simply requires additional time.

      Liked by 1 person

  13. Doctor, this is a noteworthy initiative that you took in helping people overcome the fear of failure, which strikes us all, even if we choose to speak publicly about it or to keep mum.

    I’d like to quote Robert Kiyosaki who says something along the lines of “Winners are not afraid of losing. But losers are. Failure is part of the process of success. People who avoid failure also avoid success.” So much truth in that, isn’t it?

    Let me applaud you once more for the amazing work you are doing. Take care.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you for adding your comment to this post. It seems to validate many of my points (however, I like the way you word it better!)

      Like

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