STRIVING FOR CHANGE (BUT ONLY UNDER TERMS)

0873a789b3f9922aa8d0f23e0e362f7e SMALLERAt some point in most of our lives we find ourselves in situations that require modification if our lives are going to improve. This may pertain to our jobs, our financial needs and yes, even our health. We understand the trajectory we’re following is not achieving the goals we desire. When enough NEGATIVE sentiment builds up, our EMOTIONAL prowess takes control and decides a new approach is needed. As we hastily make decisions to get as far away from the initial problem as possible, we typically pursue a course of action we’ve applied in the past that has already FAILED US multiple times. Why do we do this? This approach provides an emotional comfort level (based on our previous experiences) and creates a limited level of confidence needed to initiate the change. It is usually based on ANGER about a situation (job, finances, health) requiring a sudden need for change. With limited resources and limited guidance we attempt to convince our minds that REAL change is POSSIBLE (THIS TIME!)

I’ll bet plenty of you reading this article are nodding your heads and saying to yourselves, “how does this STRANGER know me so well?!” I’m NOT so brilliant; I do, however, understand people and human behavior. We typically share a similar approach to change. It is a love-hate relationship. We want it, but we insist on placing terms and conditions before accepting the “ASSIGNMENT.”

There are many experts that have developed approaches that successfully achieve the goals and desires we aim for. If we were willing to own our emotions and place them on the side, we too would be able to achieve our goals. What specifically gets in our way? Phrases such as (a) “I feel like I’m depriving myself”, (b) “I don’t want to,” (c) “I don’t like to,” (d) “It feels like a punishment”, (e) “I don’t have discipline”, (f) “commitment is hard”, etc… We want the benefits of change; we simply want them without changing our current lifestyle. It almost seems like we revert to a child like behavior as we undertake this enormous challenging task in life. What are the chances we will truly succeed approaching major changes in life using an adolescent mentality and attitude?

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I may be one of the few doctors that encourage people NOT TO START A PROGRAM OF CHANGE, until the brain is FULLY COMMITTED to the undertaking. When an individual without experience insists on dictating the terms for change, what do you believe the success rate is? When an individual is willing to reshape their thinking and follow a plan of action that has repetitively achieved a positive outcome, what do you believe the success rate is? Can you see how:

The EMOTIONAL DISTRACTION is the BIGGEST FACTOR in overcoming destructive patterns we repeat.

You want a better job or career? What skills are required to increase your value to make a company recognize they need you part of their team? Who have you sought to mentor you to help develop these skills and give you the confidence to acquire the job or career you desire?

You want a better financial future? How many times have you followed (for example) a Dave Ramsey or Suze Orman and applied their PROVEN strategies to overcoming debt and accumulating wealth?

You want a healthier future? What health experts have you turned to? What guidelines have they created that you’ve followed (AND STUCK WITH) to achieve the results you wanted?

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STOP SETTING THE TERMS!

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If you want the benefits of CHANGE, don’t sabotage your own efforts. There are plenty of family members and friends that will inadvertently and even intentionally attempt to sabotage them for you. Follow a PROVEN game plan TO THE LETTER. As we begin to see some change, we have a tendency to conclude FALSELY that this time is different and we can modify the game plan to better accommodate our wants. Until the game plan is COMPLETED and MAINTAINED for at least 2 YEARS, do NOT deviate! Why put all the work and effort into a FAILING OUTCOME when you can put all the work and effort into a SUCCESSFUL one. Don’t let your ego dictate your decision making.

If you’re ready for CHANGE, wonderful! If you’re not ready, determine for yourself what factors are holding you back. Don’t stop there! Figure out what steps you need to take to wipe these factors from the equation. Once these factors are gone, you too, are now ready for CHANGE. This time it won’t be another half a_ _ approach under unrealistic terms predisposing you to another FAILED ATTEMPT!

THIS TIME YOU WILL UNDERSTAND WHAT IT TAKES TO SUCCESSFULLY ACHIEVE CHANGE!

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21 comments

  1. Great theme here, from one who barreled through my own path. ☺

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Congratulations! Is my hypothesis correct? Was it worth the effort?

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Absolutely worth it. There were sacrifices along the way, but still. ☺

        Liked by 1 person

  2. This resonates with me, this DECIDE-then-don’t-let-anything-distract-you method for getting what we want in life. For years hubs and I lived in homes that were not what we wanted, needed, or could afford. Finally, six years ago, we decided it was enough. We needed what we had wanted for so long and we went for it. It was overwhelming at first. Shopping around, comparing prices, checking references, getting referrals, and then all the financials. Overwhelming, but we were committed to the goal of owning a new home. And you know what? After we made our commitment rock solid between ourselves, it wasn’t as daunting a task anymore. We were in it together. Support really does help.

    Thanks for this post. I’m trying to figure out how to apply it to the second half of my physical recovery efforts. The first half is done-now to tackle that second half!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Finding that “rock solid commitment” AGAIN just might be a significant missing piece in helping you solve the second half of your physical recovery efforts.

      Liked by 1 person

  3. Great post! I recently did an immunity to change course that really worked on this concept. It was surprising to see some of my assumptions that were holding me back. A few I can work on now and others I just need to maintain an awareness of.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Awareness is an important component in understanding why we can or can’t accept change. There is a big difference between altering an attitude and changing a lifestyle. Striving to find balance permitting CHANGES that improve INDIVIDUAL LIVES is the goal. Each of our needs are different. Looking within and finding the strength to move forward (regardless of speed) while using the guidance and tools provided by those with experience ultimately achieves the desired outcome. It’s a PROCESS, but absolutely worth the effort!

      Liked by 1 person

  4. Another one that hits home for me. Man, you are really lighting things up for me this week :-).

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Glad I was able to find the “buttons” to launch some introspection! Hope it helps you find an easier method to pursue a desired path in life.

      Liked by 1 person

  5. If you’re ready for CHANGE, wonderful! If you’re not ready, determine for yourself what factors are holding you back. Don’t stop there! Figure out what steps you need to take to wipe these factors from the equation. Once these factors are gone, you too, are now ready for CHANGE.

    Excellent advise, Jonathan!

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Thank you Tanya.

      Liked by 1 person

  6. Great advice! I think the part about being held back by family/friends is one you see all the time – in my experience, it isn’t even that they don’t want you to achieve the goals, but that they provide distractions and roadblocks to the steps needed to reach the goal – thankfully, my family and friends have been extremely supportive of me. I am always grateful for that.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. It sounds like you have a lot of “things” working in your favor. Good career, good relationships with family and friends, wonderful pets, a happy marriage and a life filled with joy and happiness. Not a bad road to travel! 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

      1. No, it is not – I do have so many good things.

        Liked by 1 person

  7. Change without total commitment often leads to less than anticipated results. I like what you said if you’re not ready for change some introspection should be done to find out what is REALLY holding you back.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Why start if your heart and head are working against each other? The task is challenging enough; you want ALL CYLINDERS firing to give yourself the best opportunity to succeed.

      Like

  8. Frank Fusco · · Reply

    Quote at the top of your blog, excellent!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you Frank. Fellow readers have seemed to enjoy this article.

      Like

  9. love this article too….I made the choice to change my life’s habits, one day at a time, letting it happen naturally and organically, still fighting the rebel on a daily basis but…I can see & feel the results….its a journey for sure…..kat

    Liked by 1 person

    1. The beautiful thing about change is it’s not a race. We make the changes we are willing to at a pace we can comfortably succeed. As you state, its a journey; not an event!

      Like

      1. yes and the sooner people understand this the easier it is to reach your goals and get on with a healthier life..

        Liked by 1 person

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